How Old Is James From Cortis

Alright, gather 'round, folks. Let's talk about James from Cortis. You know, that guy who's always there, like your favorite pair of jeans or that one coffee shop where everyone knows your order. But how old is he, you ask? Well, buckle up, 'cause we're about to dive into a world of friendly confusion.

Age is just a number, right?

Right off the bat, let's address the elephant in the room. James from Cortis doesn't have a birth certificate, at least not one we can find. He's not hiding from the law, mind you, he's just... well, he's always been there. Like that one pothole on your street that the city keeps forgetting to fix.

So, when we say James is 'old', we're not talking about his age in years. We're talking about his... well, his 'James-ness'. He's got that certain something that makes him feel like he's been around since the dinosaurs. You know, like your grandma's antique furniture that's seen more history than your high school history teacher.

James: The Original Hipster

Remember when everyone was into vinyl records? James was already collecting them when they were just called 'records'. He's been rocking that bearded, flannel-shirt look since before it was cool. In fact, he's so old that he remembers when 'old' was young.

He's seen fads come and go, from pet rocks to Cabbage Patch Kids. He's seen disco, punk, grunge, and now he's watching us all try to figure out what 'gen Z' is. He's like that old wise owl in the forest, except instead of wisdom, he's got a wealth of useless trivia.

NCHIVE Members Profile, Ages, Heights, & (Updated Facts!)

James: The Time Traveler

Now, you might be thinking, "But how can James be so old if he doesn't seem to age?" Well, here's where things get a little... weird. Some folks swear they've seen James in different places, at different times. Like, they could've sworn they saw him at Woodstock, or maybe they've got a picture of him at their great-grandma's wedding.

But when they mention this to James, he just chuckles and says something vague like, "Oh, you know, time's a funny thing." Then he'll change the subject to the weather or something equally as uninteresting. Spooky, right?

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James: The Eternal Neighbor

So, how old is James from Cortis? We don't know, and frankly, we've stopped caring. Because here's the thing: James is like that old, gnarled oak tree in your backyard. He's been there forever, and he'll probably be there long after you're gone. He's a part of the landscape, a part of the community.

And that, my friends, is what makes James from Cortis truly 'old'. Not his age in years, but his age in 'James-ness'. So, the next time you see him, give him a wave. He might not be able to tell you his age, but he can sure tell you a good story.